random post
Sometimes, when you're all alone. thoughts, wild thoughts...
At times, i wished, i hadn't met * at all. *'s an ugly past, i guessed, tho' there were happy moments too. But still, if I'm given a choice, I would choose not to know * at all and forget every single memory of us.
Not say being selfish or whatever, I think it's just can't stand what * is doing. Or maybe *'s different from what I expected and... just feel like ridding off any bond, connection, friendship, links... etc...
Anyway, that aside, I'm very happy with what I've now and I do not want anything more to do with *. Call me childish, selfish, whatever! *'s just not the * that I used to know.... anymore.
I just wanna lead a happy life from now on, with baby, family and my beloved friends. I will erase you outta my memory... no longer inside, not anymore.
-
From now onwards... will try to post my schedule up so friends will know where I am okie? =]
Anyway miss the good ol' times... not only friends, but also him him him... =(
Ages ago...
[Esp trying to study.]
[one of our crazeeeee shots]
[love is blind or blur?]
[at Changi Beach.]
[Baby's 1st bouquet of roses. V'day07]
[21st B'day flowers!! *loves tulips*]
[Days when we just met... innocent him :P]
Baby, if you happen to read this post, just wanna let you know how much happiness and joy you've brought into my life. I've really NEVER thought I would deserve a guy like you. I'm not gonna let you go, am gonna hold you tight. If there's any punishment you would want me to give, that will be... to have you by my side for the rest of my life. *ilu*
Dearest friends, i love you guys too, don't worry! =P *smoochies*
Sometimes life can just be so shitty... I've upset her, made her cry and worst of all, said words that I don't mean to... only to realise at the end of the day, it only made us more and more distant.
What's the point? What's wrong with me? What's all in my mind is that I kept thinking that things aren't going smoothly, no matter how much I've worked and it's never enough. Never.
What if I'm jobless... what will happen? I don't dare to say... cus in the end, I'll still be feeling lousy. I hate it. What's wrong... Can't things just be right for once?
I don't know how to face her from now on... a broken and upset heart is what I see on her face...
In short, I'm just useless and at times,
I wish my existence is not recognised at all.
I'm really really sorry...
...
Uncertainties vs Stability.
I hate it... when there's uncertainties in a
rship. Is it because I've fallen too deep to the extent that I'm afraid of losing... Or the reason is just me...
Assurance, stability, happiness, loved... that's what I wish for.
But sometimes, it just takes two to clap and I hope I will get the answer in time to come.
Getting too emo at times will only make others worried, especially him.
I do not want to, I do not wish to. All I hope for is that HE will be happy.
"a couple that smiles tgt, will stay tgt."
What I've been doing...
Hmm guess what I've been doing...
When I'm off, packing, unpacking, meeting up with frds, chatting, tidying up my room, trying to read up some notes (but apparently failed to lol), spending time with family and of cus missing him, especially when he's not around now.
Did some pondering on and off, i would say. Actually it's the ups and downs of emotions... Whereby, if I could take it when he's not around and trying to be strong... Msg'd a frd smth and think I freaked him out lOl. If I were him, I guess I would have the same reaction too. Hahas. *my apologies handsome*
Din't know how to start an entry anymore, somehow lost the feelings to write, couldn't really pen down what I want to say cus it's all in my mind and am so lost. It's not because of negative thoughts or happenings, just that the drive and motivation isn't that strong anymore. That applies only to work, to life, but not love.
On the other hand, am very glad that love - him, is my only source of motivation. =) His words can make me feel lousy to fantastic. In fact, the first time I felt it and it was great. Cus my previous flight wasn't that great and I was glad I have him ard.
*Darling, really thanks alot!*Now am gonna prepare to go out for a dinner! Hope everything goes well and shall update as frequently as possible. Till then, my misses goes out to everyone. *smoochies**Only for precious, luddssm,sbl*
Back? After half a yr?
Woots! It's almost near to 7 mths ever since my last super duper uper short post! =P And suddenly had the urge to blog. Firstly, wanna wish everyone a very happy and prosperous 2007. 06 was a year of ups and downs and definitely, 07 is gonna be one too. (How can everything be so smooth right? lol :D)
Anyway, work has been fine and kinda getting tired of it, just interested in the $$ though, other than that, nothing much to mention about except that it's fun travelling around, getting to know more about new places!
Friendship has been an issue~ trying to meet up with frds as much as possible and needless to say, they miss me... so do I. =P (I'm thick-skinned, I know! heh)
Family - is very important and guess they are more understanding, maybe because of my job! Super love em'! :)
Love is in the air~ I'm glad that I've met him and have him around during my bad times and of cus good times too duh! *super miss him now* =(
Grgh...detests army cus it deprives me of him!!!
*zzz time*
Busy
I realised... I'm a busy lil' girl. =/
